Why Some Men Don’t Get Enough Sex


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Years ago my husband asked someone if he and his wife were going to have any more kids. “You have to have sex to have kids,” the man muttered.


Now this made me sad, because I’m a firm believer that married couples should be having sex. I had to wonder why the man wasn’t getting any. Perhaps the scenario I’ve observed in so many homes repeated itself in his house as well:

She spends the entire day chasing a toddler away from mischief, nursing a baby, scrubbing the house, doing laundry, and cooking his dinner. She barely has time to shower before he walks in the door ready to eat. He scarfs down her efforts thanklessly, then plops down in the La-Z-Boy with the remote. His work day has ended, but hers continues as she washes the dishes, bathes the babies, helps with homework and finally collapses into bed, exhausted.


And there he comes, expecting her to strip for a workout.


When Dave told me about the conversation with the aforementioned man, I wished I had been there. I’d have told him to be man enough to load the dishwasher, change a diaper or run a vacuum. Read a book to the kids. Talk. to. his. wife. I mean call her to the couch and start a conversation about how he's sorry he hasn't been emotionally available to her. And while he's at it, hold her close or rub her feet. Tell his wife he wants to start romancing her.


Then I would have added, “Dave gets all the sex he wants.” (Dave is suddenly choking, watching me type this. Must be I over-peppered the stir-fry again.)


Ladies, I’ll take payments in cash, checks or chocolate for this post. Men, I’ve written a similar piece to your wives on this topic. They can read it in Daily Guideposts: Your First Year of Motherhood and in my book. Who Are All These Children and Why Are They Calling Me Mom?